how to play strong.

how to play strong.

you’ve got to play it real hard. if for instance, you find yourself alone, pray. you have to let some sufferings occur. you have to let loose, but still be cautious. you have to let those real tears flow in a moment. don’t let it wet your heart and drown you to death. it will never help.
you were born not because you were accidentally made. It was a plan. Things were prepared. For that, you need not to be sorry in small situations unnecessarily. You were made because He wanted you here. So, don’t hurt yourself. You need not to be perfect. You should just accept to be unique. Every person is. Even your best friend is unique. You can’t have the same nose as his, or the same body type. Chin up for that. You are you. Nothing to compare.

in school, elementary years is all about innocence. the moment you had your first star in your hand or those words “very good” will always be a great memory. Treasure that. Not every person will say the same words with heart when you’re old. The day you will become an adult, or felt mature, remember to note that some people who say they did, they never does. Some people may say “i love you” straight to your eyes but not meant it. 
Take a degree. Choose wisely. This time, don’t believe on what your parents say that their choice is better. Think. You are the one who will enter the university not them. The purpose of such degree should never be because of the reason that it can make you a billionaire. If you’re happy with what you take, it will be more precious than your tripled salary of the field that you didn’t love.

Graduate. It’s just for formal things. Believe me. The real world is beyond the school premises. It’s where cheating is not prohibited. It’s where grades in many ways doesn’t needed. And the way you have to go, lies on your heart. That diploma will be bullets. That school experiences will always be the moments you wanted to bring back again. still, such time passed. Face those new in the journey and the old easier to grasp.
People, same as you, didn’t want to get hurt. Others cry, others blame, others regret, others revenge. Be with those others who pray. You are not perfect. You are born with imperfections. that’s why there are problems. you don’t need to solve the worlds’. You have your own.Some requires a lot of punching and bruises. Some requires sleep and have to ignore. Some requires big risks. You have to choose your games to play. Not all is worth your time.  You are not superman, God wanted you to know that. Face some, learn, cry a bit, reward yourself. You’ll be okay.

the world. It is big. if you don’t want some people on your sight, God will give you a planner. in that way, it will not hurt much. remember, you need to be good still. Surround yourself with good people. Those who can accept your world. You might feel alone and lonely sometimes. Think all the time that it’s an opportunity to talk to God. If sometimes no one will be there to rescue you, rescue yourself. The only person who will fight for you is yourself. Don’t expect others. You will feel disappointments in the end, blaming them, which in fact, the one who had been a fool is you.

Love. Take risks. You don’t have to force things. When that boy comes, flirt. Take a breath. Learn and review. Maybe some school skills will help. But, recall an important memory from the past: that one day you had your first star in your hand that symbolizes you did a good job of following some trusted people and following simple rules like no cheating. You need not to give your all. A wise person always think first before he act. You don’t need to prove yourself to someone. As loving yourself as a priority, you can never go wrong.Don’t fast forward life. If he’s the one for you, learn to wait. If he’s waiting, God will nudge him to you closer. Be natural.If you don’t love him anymore, if you feel that it’s not right, if you are sensing a change of heart.. break up. Don’t fool yourself. Fools are allowed just once, and it was just in April. Regrets will be year round when you act foolish.

when all these fails, look up.

- cmm08.tumblr.com(my tumblr page)

love matters

hi. the title is love matters. the crap would i know?!! Lol. i never fall in love before. My college days was full of gimiks, with friends, with books, with lessons. i don't know how to fall for a strange person but  i know how to get my heart hurt. And today, even if i'm prepared to both of those things, time somehow didn't permit it to happen. Of course, i'm willing to meet whoever that stranger that can love me and for me to love, but God only knows.

otta here.

going back and living in a different way...

Exactly this day, is my day of departure going back to my hometown. When I arrive here, i saw hope. I saw the very hope I felt when I'm with my family. But because it`s a must, I should. I'm 20. At this age, people wanted to find there pillars to attain success. And I, think that the right time and the right day is now, and there... in my hometown is the right place. Well, that`s a fact for now.
It's tuesday morning. I'm at the living room. It feels so good that I saw the sun at this time. Fall is in the air. I began to love fall. I began to stare colorful leaves that will eventually fall from its branches at the right time. I think, it's my favorite season of the year. Right now, I'm being blinded by the rays of the sun that peeps behind those fall trees. It's amazing. I will miss this so much. I feel like crying, but on the second thought, can I save the drama with all the hardships that I may encounter at my destination place. ;) I know there will be so much problems there, but it can't be helped. I, also want happiness there, so let's call it a quits. ;))))
As much as possible, seeing things in a new light is the best thing to do. When you can't see any light, you have to. You have to, for all things... all have light.... all have hope.
I'll be going alone.  I think it's the first step to really find myself. Being alone. Besides, I have to find myself, me.. my only me. A year ago, I also said the same words when I step right here, but I guess when God and when your heart wanted the old way, the very best thing to do  is to go back in the place where all your hopes, dreams and laughters started. Right now, this is my home, this is where my family members is. But, I have to sacrifice. It's for  my own good. My young adult life should start there, now. This is from my life navigates. This is from my success' pillars.

I woke up early today, I don't know why. It sucks but now, it's my favorite time of the day. The sun keeps blinding my vision but I love it. The cold air.. is, always been cold. But, somehow it warms my heart. The warmth that I will miss feeling. When I first came here, I keep asking why people wanted to live in a place when it`s cold for almost all days of the year. Now, somehow, I know why. And that`s people here chases for warmth, and when they chase it and find it where, they will be happy.
From inside, I still hear the rushing and dancing of the leaves. It is like a bell ringing in my ears. A holy bell. Can I just say that I don't really hate this place that much. No.... no, i don't really hate it. Thanks to me, because from the time I step at this foreign country, I didn't tell to myself that I will hate this. It's the phrase I always bring wherever I go. I think it's because places is not a thing to deal with as long as you wanted to be happy. I think places can be your home when in your heart the only thing you wanted is happiness, bliss...

Yesterday, we went apple picking and visit a relative's house. I don't really like apple much. But, I want memories above all.So I went. We went. That`s the best one. They say, `an apple a day keeps the doctor away`, but I say why need an apple if you can have a bunch of it, to keep more doctors away.hihih
My mother said then, we don`t went there to pick apples but to take pictures, because that`s all we did. I felt the heart there. I felt the love there. At first, I know that it`ll be awkward at some point. (I will not elaborate on that because I don`t have to.) I won`t, because it will bring tears just right now. Ahm, wait.. let me just eat some apple....;((

When you can`t but to question some things, I think the best way was to ignore them.  I just learned that lesson yesterday. Because feelings might be involved, sometimes we  right thing to do is just to ignore it. And go where your heart feels.

So.. there... goodbye for now. I`ll do my best to blog when I arrived. ;)

My life as an otaku

My life is a mess. That's how it goes. Otaku means a person with so much love in manga and anime'. I'm 20 and still my love for manga and anime never changed. I have a confession to make and that is I'm proudly a sole owner of an account in tumblr managing lots of manga/anime boys' pictures and being followed by my fellow otaku estimating 500+ and adding. It's crazy right? All my free time is devoted in posting. Tumblr keeps telling me to be myself, and one of the things belongs to "being myself" is by posting. I'm working part-time now, I stopped studying for a year because I want to go back to the philippines and continue my studies there. I stopped anime when I'm studying so when there is an opportunity to return, i returned loving anime again. return being myself. i hate taking risks, it worries me. like, i'm afraid of doing something new. every people once in a while feel that way, right? it's normal. but, it can't be helped. anime is just an hobby and thought me so many things. it teaches me to go on, smile and face the world. it reflects a world that when you do your best, everything can fall into places. that, when you can hardly see yourself, someone will see you in a new light. if people seems distant, you can have your closest friends by your side and together you'll smile like there is no tomorrow. it teaches me that love can find it's way. that love can be at your doorsteps. it can give you hope. it can give you a wonderful feeling. you must fight for it, even if it will be so hard along the way. lastly, anime is anime. it is not true, i know. it can end in a 12 or 25 episodes. but, it's the lesson that all that matters.

so, when you feeling blue, try watch one. ;)

life

Hi. It's september. I'm going back to the philippines again next month exactly a month from now. I must continue my studies, take a review and pass the board. I know it will take time, and i know that things are easy said than done, but it is how it goes. At least, for now, I'm decided. I know things might go good or bad along the way, but I know it will be ok. When things go wrong, it's easy for me to resolve by keeping quiet, by blaming in myself and forgetting than condemning on others, carry the hurt and hate others. 

Like these tiny little birds borned a day old, I will surely be strong and look for a new beginning. I can feel that it's up to me from now on, on how my future will be built. I'm taking time, chances, and a lot of patience. I know it will be ok, God will be by my side. I know I can never be lonely for I'm always in the presence of an important person to whom in the first place, I owe my life with. And as long as He doesn't want to get back my life, I'll be in here, with so much hope for happiness.

long live! good luck!

tears no more.

Tissues, everyone?

Crying is the best way to express someone's feelings. The strongest person and the happiest one had always been moments in their life when all they've done was to cry. It is a defense mechanism of the heart. The only doings of both saddest and happiest ones. They say that crying sometimes can clear feelings. After you cry, you will feel a lot better. When crying, i usually hide myself and get into my bed. During my weeping moments, i question God. I speak to Him about how I feel and how much it hurts. I would say that when I cr, I feel refreshed afterwards. My heart will change and live in up again. After a bucketful of tears, I will always turn over my hurtful feelings to the Lord. And in return, He will give me new hope to fight for aiming happiness. ;)

my life's simple happiness

When I say simple things, i mean very simple. It can be my family, my friends, and these things:

The flower Rosal is always been my favorite and close to my heart. My grandparents' house had rosal plants on it and blooms with gorgeous flowers. It smells so good. I really want to have many rosal flowers in our house or in my future house. ;) I also remember my kind grandmother. The scent of it makes me remember her everytime. I will always treasure a kind grandmother like her. It breaks my heart because she's not here anymore when I needed a person to hold on to. When I'm crying it will be so hard patting my own heart. When things are not doing good, and when all you do is cry, you will realize people's own way of taking care of you. My grandmother at this point, will give me an ice cream. Anyways, i hope someone will give a rosal and enumerate why he/she gave me one.

I love food! It's when I eat good and delicious food that can kill depression. It's my medicine of heartaches and self-disappointments. But, there are food that I prefer not to eat. Foods that are sour never gets my buds.  That's why I always catch runny nose and cough.

i love pets! i love animals. i love cats and dogs.

i love music. But, i think, it didn't love me? haha.

;)