Monday

It's Monday. Hi! It's about 10 days+ after my birthday. I'm 20 years old now. It's the start of thinking and thinking so hard. I admit that this part of my life, I will make decisions that can make a different path into different/mysterious future. It hurts in my head, I think about two things and that is if I'm gonna continue studying or continue working.

I know God has plans. I prayed to Him to do the decision-making because I can't decide it myself. It is my weakness because from my childhood years my parents are the one deciding and I'm just being obedient doing what they like and trying to analyze why they plan that. I suck into deciding on my own, and for me to decide this big for my future.. my head and heart hurts. It is so hard to balance out things. Because in the end, if I fail... there is no one Ican blame but myself. And I may regret, balme and pity myself. I may think that I'm stupid and weak.

Anyways, God will bless me!
bye.;)

June 9.

The day before my 20th birthday. If I were to sumup all my experiences my 19 th year living, i'll be spending several hours of typing, and bucketful of tears. Tomorrow, I'll be leaving my teen years and it was so hard for me. You know why? Because everytime I age... I regret the days that it could be more happy if things were in my control and I, have been more true to myself. Things changes everyday, time flys so fast... i always say that.. and I, being left out by the world.

As off my last day of being a teen, it is nice to know that I found myself alive, typing and doing stuffs at net, which I really like.. I am about to enter a world full of new things and new trials, that to be honest, I am afraid myself. I am to face whatever things will be up to, whether it means sacrifing myself... and what I really want. Life is ironic, and the whole world balances it. I may be have,, or surely... have gray days..but I terribly believe that things will be alright.Things will go into places, and even if I don't want it...it can't be helped. The sun will still shine from our left and it will fall down to our right. I think... I will be ok...i will.
happy birthday to myself!

oK. I was curious about this 11:11 phenomenon. Or is it really a phenomenon?

I'll be giving some book writings related to this belief and some true stories that people relates to this numbers.

the wallflower

the wallflower

reason why you love writing

reason why you love writing

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Thank God its friday! You know, when I'm in elementary and highschool years, Friday was the best day of the week and saturday was just awesome. I am really nervous then when it is Sunday night, because after that night, i'll be a student again getting pissed off with classes and school stuffs. So, yeah... i was bored. I opened then my camera at my laptop and click some shots.

It was in our living room and kinda hungry. So till here. Ow wait..hmm..I had a lonely/awkward memory yesterday but I don't wanna tell now, because that's in the past. I was really optimistic in this time of my life right now, I don't know why. Because things seems not falling into places, I got myself like, i got my defense mechanism of cheering myself. Lately, i felt really bad and all i did is wrong and foolish. At the past, when like this came at my way, all i do is cry. But, now...i just kinda numb. I do mistakes, but even if I do
it, right after I don't blame myself. I don't cry. I don't think hardly on that mistake. I will forget it the next few days. I forgive myself instantly, because I know, God is always forgiving me no matter what my unintentional actions were.

So, if you are reading this blog post, if you made a mistake, first thing you can do, is forgive yourself. Then, if you already forgive the hell out of you, and can smile after that, you can forgive others.

Hope it works.

till here.

xoxo

advice no. 1

Hi! I made this very simple video out of nowhere, out of boredness and sudden enthusiasm, i guess. I dream of writing articles and self-help books. I wonder how problems will be solve through words. I question things with "what ifs". I am a fan of speakers and speeches. I wish someday that I can right a speech that will be presented and memorize by a well known speaker or leader. I want to have a book that will help lonely souls and heartbreaks. I want to be practical in terms of advices and thoughts. I imagine myself writing something, putting scraps into trashcans and repeating and repeating lines of ideas. Then after the losing my mind stage, i can come up with the perfect words for readers to be interested with.

For now, I prefer telling the world bits of advices. I know I can go there, in due time... in God's perfect time.

enjoy!